A Lie That I Have To Tell

I have been dying to let you know how much I love you. I have been dreaming to hold and hug you tight. I have been imagining you are my husband. I love you that's all I know. And I know you love me too.

If I could only bring the past back then I would really be glad to be a part of you. Remember when we watched the Korean Movie Millionaire's First Love? That was the first time I saw you cry. I was amazed how a huge guy like you could cry on a short love story. Then I realized you are capable being touched, being hurt, be in pain.

Do you remember the day we went to church and promised of being together forever? I saw sincerity in your eyes,, you mean it. You glow with passion. That day I promised to be with you until last day of my life.

But there are things that have to happen and we can't change. I know you are not happy with her but you got responsibilities. We can be together yet I don't want to break a child's future. I don't want to live with accused conscience.

At the church we saw each other again. You told me you still love me. You can be a father to your baby yet you could not be a husband to her. You told me our past and our promises. I know I was at fault when I left you but everything changed now.

We reminisce the past. You asked me if I still remember those happy days together and at the same church we made a promise. I want to tell you yes I do, every single day of it, every single word from your mouth, every laughs we shared yet I can do nothing. Even it pains my heart I have to say” I forgot you, I forgot those days, I forgot everything, I don't know about any promises, and I love Someone else”. I walked away to hold my tears and hope that someday I will not regret the lie I have to tell.